Triggered Memories
by JPsmiles
Summary: Face struggles when the past collides with the present.


Note: This story was suggested to me...thank you to that person for the idea! :)

Triggered Memories

To say that it had been a rough week for Face would be like saying Hannibal kind of liked cigars…a gross understatement.

It all started on Monday morning when Face made a phone call to the assisted living facility he arranged for Father Maghill to reside in the year prior. Instead of the usual cheery voice on the other end, he was met with a lethargic tone.

The priest tried to convince him that it was nothing, but it wasn't easy to con the con-man. Finally after some prodding he got the older man to admit that he hadn't been feeling well. But it was the way he said good-bye that scared Face and sent off warning bells: "God Bless you, my son. I love you, Templeton."

That did it. Though he knew Father Maghill loved him, those three words had never actually been said out loud before. Face decided he would leave Los Angeles at once and make the trip to San Francisco. He could easily fly there and back in plenty of time to spring Murdock the following afternoon for the team's next mission. Easily, that is, if not for the extreme fog that had rolled in and cancelled all flights into the Bay area.

Face was torn between his obligations to the man that had practically raised him from the age of five and his obligations to the team who were counting on him to lay the groundwork for the next job.

He knew there wasn't really a choice…he had to complete the mission first. If they didn't leave for New Jersey the next night than a family of farmers were at risk of losing it all, including their lives. And Father Maghill would tell him the exact same thing.

But still, Face let his Catholic guilt consume him.

Over the course of the next few days on the East coast Face worked non-stop during the days scamming, gathering supplies, and pretending that everything was okay. The work he could handle, it was the sleepless nights that were starting to take their toll. Every time he shut his eyes he would see Father Maghill and the memories would come flooding back. And while the memories of the holy man were fond ones, there were a great deal more memories from that time that weren't.

The night before the mission was to go down, Face was exhausted. He wasn't running on fumes…he was running on empty. As a result sleep came easily, but unfortunately it would last long.

_"Get out of my way."_

_"The only way you are leaving this room is by going through me first."_

Face woke with a start and looked around the dark room trying to figure out how he was going to escape. Relief sank in as he realized it was a dream and that he was safe.

But he hadn't been safe all those years ago and what happened was all too real. The beating had been bad; the older boys pounding him mercilessly before tying him up and leaving him in the basement of the orphanage dormitory. His stomach churned as he thought about the horrified look on Father Maghill's face when he found him the next morning…the bruises faded, but that look was engrained on his brain permanently.

'Don't go there. Don't let yourself go back there.'

The only way to ensure that he wouldn't was not to go back to sleep. It was to be another long night.

The long night turned into an even longer day. As usual, Hannibal's plan came together…eventually. Unfortunately for Face it wasn't until after a run-away tractor was headed straight for his turned back. He didn't hear it until it was almost on top of him and, his reflexes not up to par, he dove out of the way a moment too late. Luckily he was only sideswiped by the vehicle, but it was still enough to send him flying into the air.

Murdock was the first to reach him. "Face?"

"M'okay," Face muttered, not yet sure if it was the truth or not.

Murdock saw his friend starting to sit up. "Hey, pal, just stay down a minute."

Face was in no position to argue as the adrenaline left his body. He lay back down and closed his eyes. The next thing he heard was B.A.'s gold jingling over him.

"He okay, fool?"

"Not sure...he came down hard."

"_He_ is here...and _he_ is just fine," Face protested opening his eyes.

"We'll let a doctor be the judge of that, kid"

"Don't need a doctor." Face managed to sit up on his own accord, but not without gritting his teeth.

Hannibal snorted as he grabbed Face under the armpits and helped him stand. "Maybe not...but I do. My heart stopped about five minutes ago," he groused under his breath.

* * *

Later that day in the hotel room, Face waited for B.A. to leave the room before making his announcement. Since flying would be involved and was not the big guy's favorite topic he thought it would be safer.

"I booked myself on a flight back home tonight." Actually, it was to San Francisco, but they didn't need to know that. "I booked the rest of you on a flight tomorrow afternoon. I left B.A.'s sleepy pills in the lining of your jacket, colonel."

"What's the rush, muchacho?"

Face looked at Murdock, but out of the corner of his eye saw Hannibal crossing his arms…not a good sign. "There is…um…something I need to take care of."

"Or is it _someone_?"

Face's heart stopped at Hannibal's words. 'How could he know?'

"Really, Face, you think I'm going to let you leave because you have a hot date?"

'A date? He thinks this is about some woman?' Face's heart started again and went into overdrive. "It doesn't matter why I'm leaving."

"Yes it does when it comes to your health. You look awful, lieutenant."

"You try getting hit by a tractor and let's see how good you look," Face retorted.

"Exactly!"

"The doc said I was fine."

"No, he said nothing was broken."

"Same difference," Face shrugged. "I'm sorry, but I'm going."

"Like hell you are, kid."

"Get out of my way, colonel."

"The only way you are leaving this room is by going through me first."

Those last words pulled the trigger on Face's memory. He had heard them last night in his dream and almost two decades prior in the orphanage. Face could feel himself snap, and he couldn't control what happened next.

Hannibal saw Face sway slightly and he put an arm out to steady him.

With lightning speed the younger man reached into his jacket and pulled his gun and pointed it directly at his colonel's chest.

Time stopped and all the air seemed to be sucked out of the room.

Hannibal dropped his arm slowly. For the first time, he was scared of one of his men. He was also rendered speechless, another first. Face was looking directly at him, but it was as if he was seeing somebody else.

Murdock looked from Hannibal to Face, his eyes darting back and forth at the stalemate before him. The colonel eyes reflected shock while Face's looked unfocused.

B.A. picked that moment to come back into the room, fresh glass of milk in hand. "What in the...," his voice trailed off.

Murdock held up a hand to B.A. indicating for him to keep put. Up until this point he had tried to stay out of it, but he knew he had to defuse the situation before it blew up.

"Face…can you hear me buddy?"

Face didn't respond. He stood frozen in place his finger on the trigger…that was answer enough.

Murdock took a slow step toward the duo. "Face. It's okay...everything is okay."

Face blinked his eyes rapidly. "Mur...Murdock."

The pilot took another step closer. "That's right...now why don't you just put the gun down."

"Gun?" Face looked at the weapon in his hand as if he hadn't noticed it was there. And then he looked up at Hannibal. "My God...I...oh God."

Hannibal didn't react; there was still a loaded weapon aimed at him. But he took solace in that Face seemed to be coming back to them.

"Face…why don't you give me the gun?" Murdock asked as casually as one could given the situation.

Face's hand shook as he lowered his arm and placed the gun into Murdock's open palm. His breathing was becoming shallow and his knees felt weak. If it wasn't for Murdock who put his free arm around Face's waist he would have collapsed to the ground. "Whoa, partner," he said softly, feeling the tremors coming from the sagging form.

Hannibal and B.A. instinctively took a step forward. Murdock shook his head slightly. "Wanna give us a minute, guys?"

"Sure, fool." B.A. gently nudged Hannibal toward the door. "C'mon, Hannibal. Let's get some air."

Once they were alone Murdock helped Face over to the couch. "Hannibal was right, you look awful. When is the last time you ate or slept?"

"Um…not sure...been busy."

Murdock sat next to his best friend. "Are you hurting?"

"Inside or out?" Face questioned, not realizing he had said it out loud.

Murdock pulled Face into a hug while being mindful of his injuries. "Talk to me…what's going on with you?"

"Murdock…please…please…help me." Face clung to Murdock with all that he had left. "Am I…am I going crazy?"

"Nah…there is only room for one crazy man on this team, and that position is filled by yours truly. You're just exhausted and hurt," Murdock said gently while rubbing the blonde man's back. Face couldn't hold the tears back any longer as day's worth of pent up anxiety and pain hit him at once and hard. "I gotcha…let it all out, buddy…let it all out."

* * *

Hannibal knelt down next to the couch Face was stretched out on. "How're you doing, kid?"

"How can you even look at me? I pulled a gun on you."

"Yeah...but it isn't like it's the first time I've had a gun pulled on me."

"But it's the first time _I_ pulled a gun on you."

"Ah...details," Hannibal said with a shrug. "Though you managed to scare B.A. That's a feat none of us has been able to accomplish until now."

Face's eyebrows went up. "Really?" It was possibly the one silver lining to this dark cloud.

"Uh-huh. Had him shaking in his Converse." Hannibal's face went serious. "Scared me pretty good too."

Face dropped his head in shame. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You've had a rough go of things. I'm surprised you didn't break down sooner."

"Murdock fill you in?"

Hannibal nodded. "But I wish you felt you could come to me. We could have figured something out."

"It was my problem..."

"We're a team, kid...your problems are our problems too. Father Maghill isn't a problem. He's important to you and you shouldn't feel like you have to hide that. Look, I know you don't like to talk about your childhood..."

"No...I don't."

"Just hear me out, okay?"

Face nodded, his hands balled into tight fists of tension.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I do expect you to let me know when you're having a problem."

"I wasn't having a problem."

"Kid..."

"Okay...okay. Youre right."

"I just want you to trust us...to trust me."

Face's eyes opened wide; this was never about trust. "I do. Father Maghill took care of me during some tough times…and I owe him. The same goes for you and the team. I just didn't want to let anybody down."

"You never have." Hannibal squeezed Face's arm paternally before standing up. "Now get a move on."

"Why? I missed my flight."

"Yeah, but I booked us all on the red-eye to San Francisco...B.A. even agreed to be drugged willingly." Hannibal winked. "Told you that you scared him."

Face's eyes grew moist. "Thanks, colonel." He coughed to cover his emotion before reaching into his pocket to pull out a cigar.

Hannibal put his hands in the air. "Don't shoot," he teased before accepting.

"Not funny, Hannibal."

"Then why are you smiling?"

Face quickly schooled his features. "I'm not smiling…my lips just have a cramp."

"Nice try, lieutenant." Hannibal rolled his eyes and lit a match.

Face let out a sigh of defeat. "Fine…I was smiling."

"In that case," Hannibal spoke out the side of his mouth unoccupied by the cigar, "I love it when a plan comes together."

The End


End file.
